ONE LINERS

BEING STUPID IS NOT ILLEGAL

A BAD PENNY HAS NO SENSE!

THE PERSON WHO LIVES FOR HIMSELF
IS ENGAGED IN A VERY SMALL BUSINESS.

 

THE POWER BEHIND YOU IS GREATER THAN
THE TASK (PROBLEM) BEFORE YOU!

 

TO BE A DIPLOMAT YOU MUST BE ABLE TO BRING
HOME THE BACON WITHOUT SPILLING THE BEANS.

WHEN YOU REACH FOR THE STARS, YOU MAY
NOTGET ONE, BUT YOU WON'T COME UP WITH
A HANDFUL OF MUD EITHER.

TOLERANCE IS THE ABILITY TO KEEP YOUR
SHIRT ON WHEN YOU'RE HOT UNDER THE COLLAR.

GIVE GOD WHAT IS RIGHT, NOT WHAT IS LEFT.

WHEN YOU HAVE NOTHING LEFT BUT GOD,
YOU FIND THAT GOD IS ENOUGH.

MANY PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT
PERSPECTIVE IN LIFE... THEY ARE VERY
LIMITED IN THEIR OUTLOOK.

THE BEST VITAMIN FOR A FRIEND IS... B-1

THE BEST FACE LIFT IS......... A SMILE!

Happiness is where it is found..
Seldom where it is sought.

THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE A COME BACK...IS TO GO ON.

God wants Spiritual Fruit...
Not Religious Nuts.............

You can make a living by what you get...
But you can make a life by what you give.

To Multiply Joy, You
must Share it with Others.

The only thing you can take with
you is what you give away.....LOVE!

Many people will walk in and out of your life,
but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.

To handle yourself, use your head,
To handle others, use your heart.

 God gives every bird it's food, but
He does not throw it into it's nest.

He who looses money loses much:
He who loses a friend, loses more;
He who loses faith, loses all.

   If you Can't be generous when it's
 hard, you won't be when it's easy

It's better to be a has-been than a never-was.

GOD IS GOOD, GOD IS FAIR, TO SOME
HE GAVE BRAINS, TO OTHERS - HAIR

 If God calls......DO NOT HANG UP!

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

The trouble with Life is that you are halfway through
it before you realize it's a "DO IT YOURSELF" thing.

Never wrestle with a pig.  You both
get dirty and only the pig enjoys it.

People who eat natural foods die of natural causes.

IF YOUR SHIP DOES NOT COME IN....SWIM OUT TO IT.

PRAISE IS LIKE CHAMPAGNE IT SHOULD
BE SERVED WHILE IT IS STILL BUBBLING

THE DEVIL DOESN'T CARE HOW MUCH GOOD
WE DO, JUST SO LONG AS WE DON'T DO IT TODAY.

THE BIGGER THEY ARE, THE FRIENDLIER I GET

EDUCATION IS A WONDERFUL THING....
IF YOU COULDN'T SIGN YOUR NAME
YOU'D HAVE TO PAY CASH.

I don't want any new worlds to
conquer until I make peace with this one

IF POLLUTION GETS ANY WORSE,
WALKING ON WATER WILL BE A CINCH

IT'S SO MUCH EASIER TO SUGGEST SOLUTIONS WHEN
YOU DON'T KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT THE PROBLEM.

PEOPLE ARE LIKE TEA BAGS.  YOU NEVERKNOW HOW
STRONG THEY ARE UNTIL THEY ARE IN HOT WATER.

HAPPINESS IS AN INSIDE JOB.